Day 33 what a week!!

What a crazy week. Not going to go ALL in to detail but it has just been a little nuts lol. Had a great day today though!! took the kiddos to a event in on community and skylar had a BLAST!! BUT and yes that is a BIG but lol we both got sun burnt BAD BAD BAD omg my chest is on FIRE!!!!! lol but then came home and filled up skylars little pool for the first time this year she was soooooo excited she was in the pool for a good hour. Now getting ready to eat a YUMMY dinner and chill for the rest of the night!

Day 24

Well Its offical I am the new FRG leader!! Im super excited and am going to try my hardest to make this the best FRG it can be and hopfully get eveyone involved! Other then that life has been ok just geting by day by day. Hopefully it will start to go by faster!!

Day 19

Ok soooo sorry I havent been writing I had some problems with my Internet not working on certain website :-( but go it fixed so now Im back at it lol. This past 9 days have been very eventful. Just this past week has been such a good week you have no idea! 1st things 1st I went and got my drivers license woop woop..yeppers I was super excited!! lol Then I was named volunteer of the year for my husbands unit!! YAY me lol and then I asked to be our frg leader and the chain of command voted me in!! I am so excited this week could not have been any better ....well my hubby coming home would have blown it outta the park BUT thats not going to happen so this is the best it could get lol. Also my hubbys leave changed....he is not able to come home for our anniversary but will be some for our daughters birthday so its soooooo soon lol only like 2 more months tell I get to see the love of my lifes face and give him the biggest hug/kiss in the WHOLE INTIRE WORLD! Oh how I miss that man lol There has been some downs this week one of which was when I was unable to talk to my husband for 4 whole days omg the worst 4 days ever...the internet where he was started acting a fool so he was unable to talk to us :-( but its all good cause it has been doing good so far!! I also am having a really hard time with my daughter she is acting crazy and not listening to anything I say it is really starting to drive me nuts, but other then that a all around great night. I am really thinking with everything I am going to have going on this yr might just FLY by oh please lord let it fly by lol (fingers crossed)

Come home soon

Day 10

Got a text this morning from the hubbys email saying he reenlisted.....but not for the 2 years we talked about...but 6YEARS omg thats like feb 2017 that seems like forever away lol But I am proud of my husband he does what few people are brave enough to do and there may be times that I HATE THE ARMY especially for taking my husband for a year but I know he is taking care of our family and providing for our children and I am proud of him and proud to call him my husband!

After my early wake up lol I went back to sleep for awhile tell my kiddos woke up then started the day with a date with my husband lol only talked a few mins but it was the best few mins of the morning lol. I then decieded I cant sit around and be sad any more period soooo I cleaned my house....started a 90day challange workout and made a video for my husband and to save our memories as a video.

and it is above

Day 9

Its really crazy sometime when you think your other half of your heart is on the other side of the world....yet you still love him just like he is laying right next to you. I sent off Martin first care packages... though I would be able to fit it all in 1 large box but that soooo didnt happen lol took one large and one med box just to get it all in and I still had to crazy stuff it in there lol.

Everyone tell me distance makes the heart grow founder and I wanna just say that is BS lol Distance makes the heart hurt....so If one more person tells me that I will expload!!! Like no joke!!
Oh and if one more person complains about there husband going to work for the day and how much they miss them I really think I might loose it!! but yea just had to get that out there....oh and plz plz plz never again compare what my husband does and him being away from us to YOUR HUSBAND IN JAIN it is nothing like it!!! ok I am done venting for the day lol

got our new pics :-D

Got our pictures back and almost started crying in the store in front of everyone as I made sure they were all there and looked good lol I felt like a complete fool but thats ok these are my fav pic yet. We have taken many family pics before but these are by far the best ever!!! I can wait to take more next year with our whole family together...or maybe I will try to get some done for when he is here on R&R that would be nice. I know me and the kids are going to take pics next month to have some to send to daddy but it would be really nice to have more then one family pic in jrs whole 1st year.

day 8

today was not good at all skylar got hurt we took he to the er and then she started acting like a spoiled little brat!! I know martin is the main disciplinary but now that he is here I dont have a choice but to be and she just doesnt car if i tell her no it just makes her try to do it faster....UGH we are for sure going to have to work on that....

1 Week.....day 7

Never though one week could be so long with so many ups and downs its been a crazy ride...fingers crossed they start to go by faster or this is going to be one LONG deployment!! Tonight had a friend over and her 2 kiddos whos hubby is also deployed with mine. It was nice to have some "adult" talk and the kiddos played great Skylar has her first boyfriend lol and got her first kiss and daddy was on the webcam to see it!! It was the cutest and funniest thing ever!! Now just trying to get the kiddos to sleep to try to have a few hrs before bed to kinda have to myself. Pics will come soon of our lil adventures and the past week.

Day 6 just keeps getting harder

I took skylar outside to play thinking it would get her to stop missing daddy so much but my mom was inside and started the washer I have no clue why but she heard it and RAN inside as fast as she could yelling DADDY and she was soooooo happy tell she got inside and realized it was not martin it was my mom and she just got super sad and walked away :-( I wish I could make it better for her but I really dont know what to do.

Day 6

Well tomorrow will make a week of him being gone. Its suck more and more very day. Wish he would just come back and we could go back to being the happy couple we were before he left...but that cant happen and we have been already been through to much to just go back to normal :-( Iwish I could go back 48hrs and make everything be better but I cant...guess we just see how it goes from here....Dont know what else to say except hopefully things work out the way I want and pray them to.

Day 5

Well Day 5 has FINALLY came to a end....I dont know why but today felt like it took FOREVER to end. I hate days like that where they feel like they just drag on, but nothing we can do with them so we just got to keep truckin forward! :-) I just keep thinking one more day down!! WOOOHOOO!

Day 4

Today was a little bit better of a day...It had its ups and downs but all together I have to say it was a OK day. Its started off a little shaky with me waiting tell 2 almost 3 am for martin to call because he PROMISED to call me when he woke up before work but he didnt so I waited up tell lunch time his time and he STILL never called....then finally went to sleep because I could not wait any longer...then woke up praying he would call cause it was already after 6pm his time but NOOOOOOOOO of course not he didnt call tell past 9pm his time and what was his reason to not skypeing me??!!!??? He was at the MWR since 8am playing pool and video games....REALLY?!?!? I was sooooo upset...and to make it even worse there was comps and phones at the MWR that he could have used to call me but he didnt :-( I decided he is to far away to fight over little stuff so I just told him that we waited around forever for his call and next time please take a min out of your time to call us.

I know it hasnt really hit him that he is gone and not going to see us for a long time cause he has been so busy and traveling there and everything I just wish he would realize How hard it is for us with him being gone and that our HIGHLIGHT of the day is to talk to him.....and skylar misses him just as much as I do if not more. I think once he is there for a couple week or when he has a really hard day and gets off he will starting realizing he cant just come home and start missing us but it still kinda sucks. But after that whole thing LOL Me and the kiddos and grandma went and got out of the house for a few....then came home and I cooked a super yummy dinner and had a friend and her kids over for dinner and to play. It was really nice to have her over and I know Skylar LOVED having kids here to play with. I think it made it alot better day for her. She had a little bit of a hard time going to sleep but NOTHING like it has been the past couple days. Which was really nice :-)

Now me and jr lay in our HUGE bed without a daddy to cuddle with :-( I think that is the hardest part about all of this is the night and knowing he will not be in bed to cuddle and love on and wont be there when you wake up. But I just keep trying to tell myself I am strong enough to get through this and We love each other more then anything that we may be thousands of miles apart but our love is what keeps us together.

Day 3

I though the days were supposed to get easier and instead they are getting harder for skylar. Today she woke up and first thing she saw was daddy wheres you go???!!!???? I felt so bad for her I had to yet again tell her daddy went bye bye to help the other daddy's. I really dont know what else to tell her to help her. And then around lunch he called on skype I yelled for her to come and talk to daddy she ran into the room soooooo happy then realized he was not there and looked so sad. She saw him on the comp and got happy for a min but after we got off she we went to play outside and all she did was go to the back gate and yell at our car daddy daddy wheres you go?? It sucks.

We had our first outing today since he left....we went to the doc lol she was good at first tell she saw a man in ACU's and tried to run to him. when I grabbed her hand and told he no lets go she started crying saying daddy daddy daddy I felt so bad all I could do was cry in the middle of the hospital and tell her no thats not daddy and that daddy was at work....I dont know how much more of this I can take I wish she would start to understand but I dont think she will. I hope it gets better soon.

Day 2 coming to a end.

So I saw a quote today that said " The reason it hurts so bad to be separated is because our souls are connected" And I just feel like that is so true its crazy. Today was really hard Skylar started crying for him after we saw him on skype for a few mins and the rest of the day she cried off and on for him tell she finally feel asleep around 1030pm I feel so bad for her she really doesnt understand what is going on all she knows is she wants her daddy and hes not here.

I am sitting here at 11:20pm my time waiting for his skype call and it still hasnt came I have been waiting tell 9pm when he said he though he would be calling but still nothing :-( super sad but I am still here waiting lol hopefully it will be soon enough. I know he got there late and prob didnt get to actually sleep tell late but it is already 8:30am his time so you would think he is awake lol I know Im crazy but I just really want to talk to him but If he still hasnt called at midnight I am going to have to go to sleep cause skylar will be awake early in the morning and I have to get up and be happy and take care of my kiddos.

Day 2

Well today is better I guess.....Got woke up at 2am for a wonderful skype call from hubby!! YAY me lol Then went back to sleep and woke up in a pretty good mood. Seems like today is harder for skylar then yesterday. She cryed last night for him and this morning first thing came in our room looking for him...she even looked in the closet thinking he was hiding from her :-( It is really sad to see her like that....and I know jr doesnt know he is gone but that still sucks to lol Oh and it is MURPHYS LAW that everything has to go wrong right after hubby deploys lol FIGURES my carbon monoxide alarms started going off like crazy so housing had to send people out to figure what the heck is going on....figures hubby wouldnt be home oh and the closet light went out..WHAT IN THE WORLD lol just my luck :-)

Goodbye....

Today I had to say good bye to the love of my life. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I could never imagine how much it would hurt to have to walk away from him knowing I would not see, touch, kiss, or hug him for months. It hasent even been 24 hours and I just wish I could feel his touch...just give him one more hug and one more kiss. It took everything I had not to run back to him and never let go....but instead I took my daughters hand and led her away as she was pulling to go back to her dad I kept walking I could not look back fearing I would not be able to start walking again. I got out to the parking lot and could not get myself to leave....as I sat there in the parking lot crying my eyes out all I could think about is I need to be strong for my kids so I pulled myself together a little better and got in the car and FORCED myself to drive away. I tried to go on with the day as normal as possible but to see skylar walking around the house looking for him broke my heart....she doesnt understand and it is not her fault all she can think of doing is to cry because she cant find him.....I wish I could bring him home for her but I cant. All I can do is tell her that her daddy is a hero and will be home as soon as he can. The day is coming to a end and I am dreading going to bed in our room alone...I have been up for over 24hrs but I would rather stay up even longer before I go to sleep without him by my side to hold me.

Valentine came early this year

Well this year Valentine had to come early only a few days but still early. We had a great day exchanged gifts and cards My great husband got me some smelly lotion and perfume. It also came with one of those masks you put in the fridge lol ans he got some smelly bath salts that say they help with stress and tension (that should help when he is gone lol) and he got me a temp hubby a BODY pillow YAY lol I though that was the best present ever. He aslo gave a a perfect card and he wrote all the perfect things in it. He had me balling lol I got him a jimmie johnson shirt which is his FAV nascar driver and a big box of choc. and a card that had a small novel i wrote in it lol i couldnt help it i started and it just wouldnt stop lol but he loved it got him teared up so I know I did good lol I got him more but we wont talk about that yet...just in case he reads this today lol We went out to eat and had the lonest conversation in the world and then went and played putt putt. Skylar had so much fun it was so funny to watch her golf. She has been really lovey on him today...it make me wonder if she knows what going on or if she just feels like something is going to happen but we will never know all I know is it sure did make martin feel good to have skylar loving on him so much more then normal (which is ALOT). I am proud of myself I have held it together better then I though I only cried 4 maybe 5 times lol tomorrow will be harder Im sure I do not plan on sleeping tomorrow night I plan on getting as many hours with him as possible. Speaking of time together Im going to go spend more time with him now and enjoy the rest of the night we have together.

worst past couple days :'(

Well we got told yesterday my hubby will be deploying in a few days :-( I just got comfy thinking ok he is not going to deploy we can kinda relax and start making plans for my birthday and our daughters birthday when he comes home from work on lunch and tells me he has to start packing he is deploying in a few days....My heart dropped all i could do was look at our son (i was holding him) and start crying. I didnt want him to see my cry but I could not help it. All kinds of feelings were running over me and the only thing I could do was cry. How does someone prepare to say goodbye to there husband/best friend in such short notice. I know people have gone through it but I guess I just didnt think we would. How do you explain to you 21month old that her daddy is leaving in a couple days and not going to come home for a long long time. You cant! You cant get her to understand she needs to love on him as much as possible in the next few days cause you wont get daddys hugs or kisses or loves for a yr. there is no way she would understand it. And what do I tell her when she is running around our hows looking for him and crying for him? I dont know....This is going to be the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my whole life. I just knowI have to get through it and I have to stay strong for our kids. Life has to go on life normal and days will past and turn into weeks and months and then he will be home. We will be able to hold and hug and kiss him and I will be the happiest person in the world but tell then It is not goodbye it is see you later....I love you Martin Walker Sr you are my best friend and the love of my life.

Life with two kids.....

So life with two kids is 100% different then with one. lol It takes twice as long to get ready or get anything done really...but I wouldn't change it for the world. Jr is doing ALOT better medically he is now fitting into NEWBORN YAY lol The past month has been a little bitter sweet. I have loved the time our family has got to spend together as one but now the time is coming fast for the back bone of our family to leave us and do his job for our country. Sometimes I wish he was never in the army but then I think about it and the Army has made who my husband is today and I would not change it for the world. I just try to think of it as time will fly by just as this past month has. The only part the really gets me is how much he is going to miss. Our daughters birthday holidays and special events. But we have no choice and life must go one. and It will no doubt. We will go on with our everyday life as best we can and wait for the day he comes home to us.

Martin Harold Walker Jr

Martin Walker Jr was born Jan 7th 2011 at 8:23am. He was born weighing 7lbs and 5oz measuring 20 1/2in. He was born early at 37weeks because the doctors felt it would be better if he was out of me and I was no longer preg. So they started inducing me on Jan 6th around 5:00pm. It went slow at first and then picked right up going from 4cm to pushing him out in about a hr lol. We had to stay in the hospital 2 days but finally was able to go home. On our 2 day check up the doc tested him for jaundice and his level was 20.1 so they decided to admit him into the hospital for phototherapy after 2 sessions they tested him again and his level was 13.9 they then turned the lights off to see if his level would stay thank god they did and we were able to take him home later that afternoon. We had to follow up the next day at the peds clinic they tested him again and his levels were back up to 17.5 :-(

The doc though it would be ok if he stayed out of the hospital as long as we came back the next day to have it tested AGAIN...so we went back and his levels were 17.1 so they did not go down much but they went down so thats a plus!! The doc thinks it might not be reg jaundice but breast feeding jaundice. So he might have it as long as 2 months but the peak is two/three weeks. So at his 2 week apt we are going to have it checked again and fingers crossed it is back down to where it needs to be!! He is still yellow but I am staying positive that it will go away fast seeing as he is such a great eater and has been going potty almost every feeding (2hrs) the doc said thats how they get rid of the billiruben which is what gives him jaundice. Anyways he is now a week and one day old and as perfect as ever...he might be yellow but hes MY YELLOW BABY lol and I love him like crazy! Sklyar is doing really good with him to I was really worried she would not be so good with him but to my surprise she is great and LOVES him! She always wants to hold him and love on him give him kisses. She even comes running when he crys and tends to start crying to lol thinking he is hurting or something. So has her ruff moments but she is really quite good with him and I think it will only get better!!

New Year :-(

Well today is the last day of block leave....and Im already sad. Its a new year and I have mixed feelings about that!! I will be saying hello to a son and goodbye to my love of my life my husband. I wish I could just make this year fly bye so it could be 2012 and my husband is coming home!! But that wont be happening soooooo my 2011 resolutions are as the following.....Be the best mother I can be to my two beautiful kids, be the best wife possible even with miles and miles between us, communicate better, put myself out there more and make more friends, try to stay positive through the next year and make it fly by. I know it will be extra hard seeing as this is going to be our first deployment but we are strong and love each other and will make it through....Im sure there will be highs and lows but we will come out the other end of this deployment closer and stronger as a couple and family!