Today I had to say good bye to the love of my life. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I could never imagine how much it would hurt to have to walk away from him knowing I would not see, touch, kiss, or hug him for months. It hasent even been 24 hours and I just wish I could feel his touch...just give him one more hug and one more kiss. It took everything I had not to run back to him and never let go....but instead I took my daughters hand and led her away as she was pulling to go back to her dad I kept walking I could not look back fearing I would not be able to start walking again. I got out to the parking lot and could not get myself to leave....as I sat there in the parking lot crying my eyes out all I could think about is I need to be strong for my kids so I pulled myself together a little better and got in the car and FORCED myself to drive away. I tried to go on with the day as normal as possible but to see skylar walking around the house looking for him broke my heart....she doesnt understand and it is not her fault all she can think of doing is to cry because she cant find him.....I wish I could bring him home for her but I cant. All I can do is tell her that her daddy is a hero and will be home as soon as he can. The day is coming to a end and I am dreading going to bed in our room alone...I have been up for over 24hrs but I would rather stay up even longer before I go to sleep without him by my side to hold me.
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